Ba-Curious

OK, I admit it. I’m bacon-curious. I am a vegetarian who is having a love affair with bacon. I love bacon all ways—spaghetti carbonara, wilted spinach salad with a warm bacon vinaigrette, bacon sandwiches, and, well, just plain bacon. My vegetarian friend S insists that because of my bacon flirtation, I am in fact a carnivore. I resent this. I have been a devout vegetarian for nearly fifteen years (ever since an unfortunate incident with a chicken). I would argue that I am no more a carnivore than a straight woman who occasionally frolics with other women is a lesbian. Just as she would be called “bi-curious,” I am “bacon-curious.” Just as she lusts after her husband, I lust over a head of organic broccoli. Just as on occasion, she meets a particularly delicious woman, so, on occasion, I meet a particularly delicious plate of bacon.