Gypsy Madness

Back to blogging again! Previously I limited myself to two posts a day for fear of looking as if I had no life. But for the next couple of days, to make up for my week off, I will blog without limit. (In my next post, I will explain why I abandoned my blog readers, all four of them, an explanation that involves undercover advertising, and sausages.) Anyway, to herald the return of blogging and signal a new phase in my life, I have changed my cell-phone ring. My last ring was called “Espionage” and did not summon thoughts of espionage. My new ring is called “Mountain,” and is nothing like a mountain (unless perhaps they meant a mountain encircled by a funicular railway with a hurtling train driven by a lunatic). “Mountain” would be more appropriately named “Carnival of Freaks” or “Bedlam Boogie.” It is such a crazy, helter-skelter little tune that I can’t help wondering who composed it. Is there someone who does this full-time? Perhaps a frustrated musician with a phone in his head that never stops ringing, someone whose great dream is to write a piece that lasts longer than five seconds? Every time I hear my new ring, I imagine this man, channeling all his pent-up frustration into composing it—then doing a wild dance before running away to play his banjo with the gypsies.